Once More Into The End of The Grey

In 28 Days Later, as the main character is forced by gunpoint into the woods to be dispatched, a moving soundtrack makes it a memorable standout scene. The music is a classic orchestral number with the word Requiem in the title. It fit perfectly, but it was also used out of context in Mean Machine, starring Vinny 'grab ya balls' Jones and Jason 'dropkick ya in da face' Statham, who between them managed to hoof half a dozen shades of hell’s bells out of their opposing footy-playing cons. Nice movie, and a top cast, but please, don’t go having the same music from 28 Days Later! Sometimes the movie you think is stealing music was actually made before the movie you think has been stolen from, but that’s beside the point, because everyone is stealing. The point is CONTEXT.

Ink, like 28 Days Later, has, at some time or other, occupied the Number 1 film spot here at Anvil Samsara, and the music from that too has also been ripped off, this time in The Grey. It’s called The City Surf by Jamin Winans. But you know what, it’s getting let off. Yeah that’s right, let off, because it works just as good, if not better, as it did in Ink, so pardon granted. A fight to the death, man gegen beast? Name a better context than that. And here’s the thing about spoilers, before y’all complain: Sometimes they make you watch a movie you otherwise would have swerved, and sometimes, in the time it takes getting around to watching it, you’ve forgotten the details of the spoiler anyway. Somebody gave away the ending to Black Swan, but guess who still wants to watch it. Simply knowing the director or seeing the cover is a spoiler of sorts. That’s why the independent hit Ink had maximum movie impact - everything about it was fresh and unknown.

The Grey was nothing special, up until the end, but as you may well know by now, it’s ALL ABOUT the end. It’s gotta be said that with this music, and with the poetic reflection going on, The Grey leaves its mark. Forget the rest of it. Let’s talk, instead, if you don’t mind, about the final killer twist in Ink. Aw man oh man oh man. It doesn’t matter if you figure it out first, or if you watch it a second or third time, because it GETS HIM every time. He’s NEVER going to figure it out. Talk about thunderclap moments!Have a butchers at him. The expression on his face! You feel for him so much. And his response? Aw man. Let’s just say he gets STUCK IN, and leave it there.

Don’t forget, it’s almost that time of year again. Yup, The Hobbit. It’s got us intrigued enough about the dragon that we’re all willing to be blagged by noobs for three hours. And apparently, according to the radio, the new Hunger Games is the movie ‘the whole world’ has been waiting for. Erm, okay, yeah, sure, whatever ya reckon.

Realising, in Purgatory, that you left the iron on

Honesty Policy

Dominoes recently delivered flyers through the door advertising their pizzas at, open and close quotes, "Crazy Prices". At last, a company who doesn't lie to us. You have to admire their honesty. In these dog-eat-dog capitalist times, this is honorable to the bone.

Textbook Politics

When somebody tried doing this to Sean Penn in The Assassination of Richard Nixon (2004) he got blasted in the head at point blank range. Lesson learned: When a cheesed-off Penn tells you to fly a plane into the White House (and fly it low), then you better bloody well do it. GET OUT OF MY WAY! GET OUT OF MY WAY! I'VE GOT A BULLET AND I'LL SHOOT YA I'LL KILL YA!

When you're talking about burn-the-world cob ons, he really does give Michael 'goddamn' Douglas a good run for his money.

Jason Manford - Toilet Hygiene

Rich Piana - Mr California

IS THIS GUY THE BEST?

There’s not been a crazy bodybuilder feature here since Gregg Valentino or Zack King Khan but this guy raises the bar among even this esteemed company. He has more than his fair share of web haters who highlight his use of synthol (essentially an oily implant solution you inject into specific muscle fibres for increases in size). As you can imagine, many see this as cheating, and to be honest, due to its controversy, the blog hesitates to even mention it. It is named only because (a) cosmetic enhancement is a fascinating subject in its own right and (b) Rich openly discusses his performance enhancer use on camera, which is as rare in the sport of bodybuilding as rocking horse shite.

We know they all do it but only he admits it so a man has gotta owe him fat respect for that alone.

Let’s forget all those trim dieters weighing their egg whites for a perfectly balanced physique. This in a sense is what true bodybuilding was meant to be like: Morphing into a Mutant. Leaving humanity behind. You wanna be an average package with the same old boring predictable look, or you wanna be a freaky monster? Take the Incredible Hulk. You think he would win a contest if the stage could hold him? He’d come dead last. But whose name would the crowd be calling? Hulllk, Hulllk, Hulllk…

Drugs are only another optional piece of the jigsaw to maximise your natural genetics and hard work. In Rich’s case, I reckon, the final part, after many years taking care of everything else. Imagine sweating your ass off to build a house then having to put up with derision just because you added an extension not to everyone’s taste. And all the while the name callers have barely built anything themselves. The main word beginning with D here is dedication. Negativity is estranged from commitment and consistency.  This is what choosing a path and following it looks like.

Hey, make your own mind up about him. All I can vouch for personally is that this guy got my mate lifting weights again. That’s the bottom line. One look at Rich 'Mr California' Piana enjoying his bodybuilding life and his cosy little lazy layoff was over. He ate some toast and jogged straight the gym in his jeans. The good news is that we can all be Rich Piana in our own way. How? Well, by looking different to everybody else. By keeping freak in mind. And for those of you who may be wondering, freak is an endearing term in the muscle community.

This video is a marriage of inspiration. Not only are they bringing a true freakazoid to our screens, but they are doing so by the expertise of Alex Ardenti and Mustafa Yazicioglu. Alex is a rare master of motion with the lens and Mustafa’s grungy on-your-feet piano speaks of funk and dance, a genuine breath of stylish fresh air. Let’s celebrate a fusion of talents in their own right and revere this marvellous mixture of muscle and music.

a schmoe feature
* FREAKY BICEPS BABY *