dark am i, yet lovely, a lily among thorns, majestic as stars in procession

dark am i, yet lovely, a lily among thorns, majestic as stars in procession

Sunday, 17 September 2017

Monday, 11 September 2017

Tuesday, 5 September 2017


 Beating The Mattress
What is there to say about depression that hasn’t already been said? It’s almost fashionable now to have gone through depression, if you’re a celebrity. Look at Ruby Wax – a champion of depression. They all think they are cool to talk about it because it associates them with today’s troubled youth. It connects them with the kids. The book Prozac Nation made being depressed almost trendy. I myself used to buzz off it as a teenager. I thought I was special because I was depressed. But being depressed ain’t really cool: Being depressed is total shit. In my understanding, being depressed goes hand in hand with staying in bed. Spending too much time under the sheets is a massive clue. Not wanting to face the living room, never mind the outside world, is another. You’ve lost interest in the TV, especially during the daytime – if you’re up, that is – and Facebook is full of happy prosperous people uploading their insulting happiness, so why would you want to bother with that? Showering or even brushing your teeth is out of the question because you have no special dates on the horizon – or any social events whatsoever, for that matter – so what’s the point if you’re not going out anywhere? Nothing to do but roll over and find a cooler part of the duvet to snuggle up into. And the longer you leave it to get up, the harder it becomes. And say you do get up, eventually…what then? Just what the hell are you supposed to do then? Prepare a meal? No. You don’t need much sustenance when you’re only lazing around all day. Better to graze on some simple sugars and indulge in junk. After all, you deserve it because you’re depressed. And a crappy diet is just more fuel for this all-consuming depression. I suppose you could get dressed – lol! What for? To sit around in the living room all day? What’s the point in being all dressed-up with nowhere to go, and nobody to go with for that matter. No, better to stay in your sleeping clothes. After all, you’ll probably be going back to bed soon. There’s simply nothing else to do. Apart from go out, of course, but ha, where to? Where the hell are you going to go, feeling like this? One peek through the window makes you realise that the outside world is like a different realm – that’s where all the busy happy people are, and it’s not for you. So, what to do about depression? The answer is easy…you’ve got to snap out of it. It’s as straightforward as that. Nobody else can do it for you. You’ve got to make a snap decision that you are refusing to feel like this anymore. You’re not standing for it any longer. The world is a state of mind, and depression is a mere changeable mental state. So do a spot of cleaning, put a CD on, get dressed, go out somewhere, anywhere, and get manic. Do something, and when that’s done, worry about what can be done next. One thing at a time. One day at a time. It doesn’t matter how small or meaningless it is what you’re doing, at least it beats the mattress. Get obsessed about doing things. That’s the key. Doing stuff.