Mobbed

BY JOHNIE J - 23

Went to a new pub recently (Thursday 16^th October). Upon cue, as myself and two friends sat down with our drinks, a bustling crowd of women burst in through the fire entrance and sat right beside us. Their natter was unbroken as you might expect from gabby inebriated women, but occasionally punctuated with racist insults, at least over a dozen by the time we left. They rapidly commented on my thoughts and on my body language before I could think them or act it, and what’s more they slipped their remarks so seamlessly into their chatter that it felt pointless for me to even try to pull them up on it, or even for my friends present there with me to even be aware it was happening.

I dried up into stone because they knew what I was going to say before I said it, so what was the point of speaking at all? This may sound crazy but I’ve read so many other accounts of this happening over the web that I’m now confident enough to publish my own experiences without the nag of wondering if others may find me crazy or not. This. Is. Happening.

Remote neural monitoring can process your sub vocal thought and relay it to smartphones in your vicinity quicker than you can say “jumping jack flash”. To sum up: strangers were talking aloud my own thoughts as they occurred (is a lot worse than it sounds, believe me). If you ever have the misfortune of being quizzed by a psychiatrist, one of the regular stock questions they ask is if you feel like your thoughts are being “broadcast” to other people – at which point you might say hell yeah, how did you know that!? Doctors nowadays know everything and nothing. They’re all clipboards and questionnaires.

I don’t mind taking the blog in this direction. Not happy about it, but truth comes first before art and stories. I don't consider myself an artist by the way (or an activist, too busy), but what I do definitely IS art...and according to Johnie J...this. Definitely. Happened.

I believe him. More crazy real life testimonies to come.