dark am i, yet lovely, a lily among thorns, majestic as stars in procession
WHY DESTROY YOURSELF? WHY DIE BEFORE YOUR TIME? THE KEEPERS OF THE HOUSE TREMBLE. DESIRE IS NO LONGER STIRRED. DO NOT CONFORM ANY LONGER TO THE PATTERN OF THIS WORLD.
Choose life. Choose the washing machine. Choose your
favourite song on loop. Choose chocolate for breakfast. Choose undertaking on
the hard shoulder. Choose getting wasted the night before something important.
Choose luminescent underwear. Choose shouting out your unspoken beliefs in
public. Choose shoplifting. Choose kissing a stranger on the cheek. Choose
maximum volume. Choose burning the dancefloor down. Choose collecting all your
receipts. Choose face-paint on holiday. Choose moonwalking along railway tracks.
Choose screaming underwater. Choose mugging a banker’s wallet. Choose chucking
snowballs at your local MP. Choose asking for diet water in a restaurant.
Choose wiping your arse on a freshly laundered towel. Choose pulling short
skirts down. Choose pulling skinny jeans down. Choose uploading a million
selfies. Choose posing like an A-list celebrity upon an imaginary red carpet.
Choose pleasing people because they desire to be pleased. Choose putting both
socks on at the same time. Choose being a dissident. Choose being a conformist.
Choose blending in and sticking out. Choose a pint of whiskey. Choose being
naked on the trampoline while blowing bubbles. Choose two consecutive straight
flushes at the casino. Choose a Halloween mask on your first date. Choose
shaving your eyebrows. Choose valentine’s cards to an unknown schoolgirl.
Choose sprinting indoors. Choose sex outdoors. Choose praying for your enemies.
Choose clenching your fists but hitting no one. Choose laughing at all you’ve
become. Choose the most expensive gift. Choose watching that DVD for the fifth
time. Choose the lava lamp for your bedside cabinet. Choose the funkiest alarm
tone. Choose pissing in the bin. Choose a crystal on each nipple. Choose sailing twice around the equator in an
inflatable dinghy. Choose sitting on a park bench and reminiscing about old
flames. Choose overdosing on multivitamins. Choose long walks in the woods
where the bluebells crow. Choose fireworks on the beach at sunset while
listening to rave music from a portable ghetto blaster as all your friends go
skinny-dipping. Choose getting up to put the kettle on and by the time you come
back missing Ronnie 'the rocket' O’Sullivan making a 147 maximum break in five
minutes and twenty seconds. Choose Mike Tyson’s knockout uppercuts in the first round. Choose betting against England football team. Choose a marathon. Choose
base-jumping in a storm. Choose scented candles in the bath. Choose leaving
your bills until the final reminders. Choose cutting up your credit cards.
Choose vandalising sports cars with a hockey stick because their owners don’t
deserve them. Choose snorting crushed-up caffeine tablets because you just
don’t know where to score drugs from anymore. Choose the finest pepper. Choose
a professional photo studio and gold-plated picture frames on the mantelpiece.
Choose Blackpool rock and bonfire toffee. Choose what you want, not the best
deal. Choose being just a little bit crazy. Choose the shoes. Choose the suit.
Choose the heating on and the windows open. Choose living life as if you’re
going to prison the next day. Choose send-to-all text messages. Choose lying on
your back to gaze up at the stars. Choose the washing machine. Choose life.
Andrew has performed his spoken word at Contact Theatre Manchester and South Bank Centre London. His publications include Not Shut Up and The Big Issue. He has collaborated with the creative works of prisoners, patients and refugees. In 2008 his collages were displayed in a Co-operative art exhibition. Since then he has recorded over forty electronic music tracks and designed forty ceramic sculptures. He is currently working on a cyber goth novel while editing a substantial backlist, besides compiling a hardcopy portfolio of digital photo-montages and sketches.
Andrew was ousted from school into a secure psych unit as a teenager. Since then he has been homeless, imprisoned, and detained for several years under the Mental Health Act. Andrew is an ex-addict and a Voice-Hearer. He attempted suicide in the summer of 2015, but manages his demons thesedays by attending therapy groups, where he shares his otherworldly experiences with others. Simple things like poetry and weightlifting help motivate him. He enjoys pool, swimming, and working the punchbag. Andrew is an avid conspiracy theorist.