The Difference Between Prison and Mental Hospital

In prison, for starters, they hand you a job. If you are sensible and wise, as I was (humble brag), you can get yourself a job on the wing. This means you don’t have to spend the whole day too far away from your cell. I myself was given a role doing the laundry. It was one day on, one day off. All it meant was using the washing machine every 45 minutes or so. The laundry room was on the 1^st floor, so I was happy to be up and down every other day, keeping fit. I would prioritise my boys and other people I liked, and maybe even fold their clothes all nicely as a warm gesture. The position commanded a certain amount of respect itself, as clothes are a prisoner’s most valued possessions. Aside from work, there were plenty of things to be occupied with on the wing. The job also got me off the wing and over to the industrial laundry unit on the other side of the jail. This involved a peaceful stroll around the whole prison grounds. Ping pong, pool and snooker were standard procedure on each and every single wing. There was an education suite available, with plenty of computers for writing letters on or whatnot, plus there was a library too, with warm-hearted welcoming staff who enjoyed a game of scrabble. A full-size artificial field, with nets, was there for highly competitive inter-wing matches. If you didn’t fancy a game, and you had a pitch-side window in your cell, you could watch the action. There was a chapel, where prisoners from all over met for courses and prayer. Basically, jail was a huge complex with several acres to explore. And let’s not forget a fully-equipped gymnasium and sports hall, where weightlifting, badminton and even yoga classes were on offer. All of these activities can be engaged with on a daily basis. Sometimes I would get to the gym twice a day. There was also the social aspect as well. With hundreds of people on a single wing, you were always meeting new people. Some of them were friendly faces. There was no shortage of laughs or gossip or incidents. And, finally, you had a release date. Something to look forward to.

In hospital, you are cocooned with a dozen other drug-pumped zombies on a claustrophobic ward, and that’s it. Where would you rather be?