Last Year

It’s been another dull year, not like the good old times of the noughties, when I was employed. Now the years of joblessness equal pure boredom, and, as they say, idle hands are the devil’s workshop. That’s where my addictions come in. Duh. I still hear voices, but the voices aren’t the worst. Worst are the physical body attacks, where I wake up getting scratched, or strangled, or suffocated. But, alas, the demons of remote neural monitoring are beyond the comprehension of the common man. I can’t blame you for not knowing what the hell I’m talking about! It led to a second suicide attempt back in March. That’s ancient history now though. There’ll be no third time lucky. I can assure you of that. Sometimes, for some people, there is no other option but to be strong. I’ve been to watch a few movies at the cinema, Kong was the best, and I’ve been on a Christian retreat in the Lake District. There was plenty of fellowship and worship songs and good food – it was like a mini holiday. I also met with a director and producer for a BBC documentary about Hearing Voices. The show has been commissioned but I’m not sure if I’ll be on it or whether they’ll be using actors. There’s been minimal family time, which is sad, and something to improve on in 2018. Apart from that, all is good. I played competitive basketball for the first time ever, found a couple of new bands, enjoyed watching snooker, still training and swimming most weeks, still writing, still fucking drinking and smoking, pretty much the same as last year. Except this year is the first full year I’ve had out of hospital in three. To be honest, I miss the psychiatric institutions – they are always full of interesting company and zany chitchat. Been sat alone in your house can be a worse fate, if you’re not careful. I’ve given up the spirits, because in June I started necking a litre bottle of Vodka and woke up cuffed in a police wagon with memory loss. I’m still on probation for that. So the vodka had to go and it has gone. I told it to never come back. I’d like to get big and fit this next year. Peak condition like. That’s a dream worth more than riches. Something to aim for. And that’s it. All the best to everyone. I give my soul to the Internet, because it gives its soul to me.