No More Foxy Times

 

I’ve been praying that I can maintain this current power I have over the evil voices in my mind. At the moment I am speaking up and over them. I don’t mind the sound of my own voice when I am on form; I can’t half waffle on sometimes. A few years ago I nicknamed myself the Waffle Meister. There are many names for me, including Sakor, Orchid and Dorky Pumper. I’m just beginning to accept fully into my own heart who I am and what I stand for. I feel like a powerful being, considering how I am still functioning after all the traumatic experiences I have been through. It’s been a rottenly beautiful rollercoaster of unfortunate and sometimes lucky events.

The time when I went to Heaven or a different planet or whatever was the occasion that stands out. I call that The Event, the only event worth noting of such importance in my entire life. There have been countless many other occasions but nothing quite like that space-hopping episode. Then came The Advent, when I became a detective in my own mind. I’ll not go into what I was detecting just here at the moment, but it was of the utmost importance. At the time, I thought I was The One, I thought Armageddon depended on my sole survival. That’s where I got my strength, that’s how I got through.

Intruders in the flat, the Devil in my head, monsters under the bed…these are all notable. But nothing compares to leaving Earth. I had a little pleasant visitation of sorts this very morning at half five in the am. There was a fox in my garden, eating. I have no curtains, and it was right in front of the window, so I got an extremely close-up view of this wild creature for the best part of five minutes. At one point we made eye contact and it stalled. When I nodded it carried on. This is the second time I’ve pardoned a fox’s behaviour with a nod. They understand nods, somehow. Beautiful creatures to see in the flesh. So independent. So rare. So elusive.

So yeah, all good, I’m not moaning about big black men nailing white women or drugs and relapses, but positive and full of life. Sex is off the menu, I’m just chillaxing with a drink and a smoke. I am aware though that one phone call to my dealer ruins everything that is going on in my current life and bleaks out the future.

I had the most awe-inspiring dreams last night. My astral life is decimated by drugs, so that’s another reason to avoid them. The whole list of reasons are beginning to stack up. I just want to cherish my mind and what it’s capable of, it’s our greatest gift from The Most High and should be severely appreciated. I want to do that. I want to wake up in the morning and not see the day as a challenge with an infected aura, but a joyful brisk walk in the park with a happily peaceful relaxed brain. I’ll keep praying for it. And I’ll pray for you too while I’m at it. Take care homie.