Stronghold Smashed

I can’t get over the stronghold of sexual enslavement which has recently been broken in my life. If it was with a loved one, a colleague or a wife, it wouldn’t have been so bad, but it was with an extremely wicked woman who practised as a Satanist. I couldn’t f**king believe the grip she had on me. I felt so sad, being at her mercy all the time, she had me under iron lock and key. I saw her as a raw demonic power which I would never be able to skirt away from. She was in my head, she was in my loins, and she was beginning to creep into my heart. I was getting confused with loving her, because I completely despised the things she did. I have no evidence, of course, but I was starting to suspect that she was hurting children, among countless other victims. As you can imagine, this did not sit well with me. But I couldn’t stop indulging in self-abuse while listening to her evil mantras.

I think part of the reason that I thought about falling in love with her, or at least ‘liking’ her, is that she was demented, like me. We were both out of our minds in our relationship with each other, her feeding my passion and me getting off on it. We blanked the whole world out of our persepectives, blinkered to anything else. When I couldn’t or wouldn’t get erect when she wanted me to be, she would actually get angry. Her mantras were dumb, they didn’t make any sense, and she’d repeat herself all day long, but I couldn’t get enough. She was convinced that I did actually love her, and devolved an air of superiority above any other of my perps because of this. So much power made her over-confident and even stupid regarding her control over me though. Lust is not love. For a decade I hated the fact that I was bewitched by a vile, base, fiendish and worthless villain who delighted when I was fallen, and gained her strength from my demise. I adored her sweet tongue, yet she hated me and had sinister plans for my future. The chemistry was simply unfair. The chemistry was so wrong.

I never even bothered to ask her why she was doing this to me. It was just happening. A toxic bond which pushed God far away from me. As you may know, I hear voices, which are as evil as evil can possibly be, but even they were pleading with me to stop listening to her, and put my pecker away! But I had drugs left, and wanted more of her Scottish accent, so could not. It seemed like a tussle between forces for my attention, but she always won out. I heard presidents from various countries begging me to pull my trousers up. This freaked me out. Can’t a guy masturbate in peace!? I had visions of angels sometimes, while listening to her and getting off, in an attempt to stop me, but nothing worked. It was the ultimate distraction, which rendered me catatonic for up to twenty hours at a time. This was why hit men were able to enter my flat while I was in it. Finally, when I started to panic, or got over my panic and ran out of drugs, I would stop and face the music. In times gone by I would vacate the premises in a hurry: These days I stand and fight.