S.H.I.T

Reporting mainly good news on this glorious day. I am away from the pleasures of the flesh by quite a stretch. There’s an awful lot of tract between us. I have entered a place beyond the physical, a mental place, where I have rarely trodden before. Adult movies have been kicked into distant dust. This is embarrassing to mention online, I know, but I hope to have stopped indulging in selfish sexual pleasure for good. I am looking at women and the world in general completely differently. My perception, since dropping the Class A psychotropic substances, is at its all-time best. Perception is so important to me. In the past, when on a doomsday comedown and surrounded by bored stalkers, I considered the world to be so bleak and barren I could barely function in within it. They often used to gang up on me after poisoning my drugs and scare me witless throughout the night. I’d be running away from their sophisticated brain weaponry half-naked in the bushes, clutching a knife for self-defence. Rambo had nothing on me.

Because I am making such positive progress, and am now firmly representing the seraphic higher vaults and chambers of Heaven with my divine calling throughout the mire of this at times truly dismal planet, the kingdom of Hell is all in a flutter around me. If you think you are having a tough time, then you should try being me for one single hour. My head is constantly picked at and nibbled away by a relentless onslaught of schizophrenic voices. Far from being a natural mental disease, the voices are actually real sadistic people who are dashing for the finish line in order to make me so depressed by their negative presence that I give up on the Lord and commit suicide to get away from them. A short time with them can be psychological agony.

To anyone out there going through the stresses and strains of Hell on Earth as I am, then know what I am with you in thoughts and prayer. If I wasn’t a man of faith then I would want to burn all of this perishing world with uranium bombs and strangle every last survivor with my bare hands, so depressing can its dark agents be. They never ruddy bloody leave me alone for a minute of the day. As it is, however, I am strutting around the battlefield with a smirk on my face, ever the optimist, largely due to my buoyant spirits being a born-again Christian and brother in Christ. This dude simply batters all evil put in front of him. Amen to the Lord. Peace beyond Him.

For years I was getting deceived by individuals using my wide spreading love against me. Now that they have been cast aside, they are showing their true colours with nothing of any value other than bitterness and hatred. Because I have been rescued from the pit by God’s unfailing love, they want my undivided attention to plough doubt into my soul about my inherited destiny. Their usual pipeline of chatting bubbles has been cut off with my newfound grace. I am so indebted to the Creator’s mercy at the moment. He has lifted me up to present glory and I am outwitting demons which formerly had me sprinting for the hills. In the middle of the night. Only half-dressed. With a knife. Rambo had nothing on me.

I finally understand why my terrible life is happening to me, at the hands of cruel unseen handlers. It is because of my kraft and my creativity. So I am now proud and happy about my kraft and creativity. It is sincerely despised around these parts. Complete strangers who I have never met declare spells on me to undo my giftings. This they do from beneath my floorboards, where they lurk around the sanctuary of a seedy lair, drinking each other’s blood. Seriously! In case you’re wondering, I live on the ground floor, so that property is illegal. Never mind the goings on in there. I am thinking of ringing the Anti-Terrorism hotline and giving them a few names, to see if it helps level out my mind, knowing that I am doing something productive to help.

Not long ago, while sussing out other similar ‘seedy lairs’ for the Lord, hidden in various locations around the town, I became enwrapped by a little web of sadomasochists. They were repeatedly entering my property late at night cloaked in invisibility serum, armed to the teeth, but in Christ I was far too strong for them, politely asking them to leave and shut the door as they buggered off away. The official term is S.H.I.T (Serial Home Invasion Torture). It’s bloody terrifying if you’re enfeebled from pornography, cocaine and masturbation. Funny as anything if you’re protected by a heavenly father. Those cowards only pick on the vulnerable. One of the cheeky toerags lived in my cupboard for a week and he didn’t pay me a penny rent. What’s more he was helping himself to my water.

These days, this kind of desperate folk lives with me 24/7. And they still don’t chip in for the rent. Or stop helping themselves to my water. If you suspect that presences are harassing you then simply try and ignore them. They require constant attention from their victims so don’t give it to them. Tell them, politely as you are able, to sling their hook.