Psychic Sex

 

Now then. Two blogs in two days feels a bit weird. Well done me! Crikey, I feel like I’m beginning to waffle already. That’s the beauty of it. I can just sit here and waffle with nobody or nothing to stop me. It’s important to clear the air from time to time. With who? With yourself.

I went to my first séance last week and listened to the messages from psychics. I almost got up and performed myself. I’m not sure what stopped me. I’m 99% certain that there’s something out there, but I have doubts about the nature of the business itself. Part of me still sees them as picking on the weak and vulnerable. I could never allow myself to do such a thing. Yet, if my message from the other side was positive and helpful, I would be only too glad to pass it on. I think I’ll give it a try next week and then start doing palm readings for a fiver or something. You got a problem with that?

I’m really glad that, whoever you are, wherever you’ve been, or whatever you’re doing or about to do, we can share this moment of unity right now. It’s lonely being a writer. I want outdoor sex and go-karts and champagne. I want friendship in the nightclub, love in the park, wanna stroke the dolphins in the pool, wanna score the winning goal at The Theatre Of Dreams, wanna be popping tags in all the latest threads, wanna cruise in the convertible, eat all the finest foods…meeting and greeting A-Listers…

 All I get is you reading this on your phone probably 105 miles away who doesn’t give a shit. If you’re reading this on a PC then please let me buy you a drink. Everything looks so much better on a widescreen monitor. Even penises look better on a widescreen monitor. Sorry, did I just say that? Well where else did you hear it?

I’m dead honest me, you know. Yeah I have seen a porno or two. It’s a heated subject for me. I could write about it all night. I wrote 50% Rude as a homage to the industry but it didn’t go into it all that much. Only halfway in (pun intended), as a matter of fact, hence the title. I would say bomb the living crap out of all porn stars. Yep, just bomb them all. All they do is make me frustrated. They say sex is everywhere but I can’t find it. I bought a pornographic magazine just the other week, first one in about ever, took one look at the cover model who made me buy it in the first place, looked at a couple of grotty adverts, and the thing’s been hiding in the cupboard since. Completely tasteless.

The intention was to cut out the cover model and stick her on my wall, like a little kid proving he ain’t gay. That was until I realised that in the centrefold she’s sucking on a vibe in her gob. I’m sorry, there ain’t no woman licking a dildo getting wall space in my property. In another she was bent over pulling her bottom open. Same goes for that too.

I might start wring about porn some more right here at Piebald77.blogspot.com. I know it sucks (pun intended), but it’s a virtual bottomless well of material. Who isn’t interested in sex? Well that’s easy – me! I’m growing out of it. Or so I think until I see a fit emo. More than that, I want to test my honesty. How honest can I be? What kind of chicks I like, what kind of – well, yeah, all those personal preferences only admin at porn sites know about. Bomb porn sites as well with the other naked plebs. In my days, you had to 'man up' and go in the shop to face someone in person if you had the balls enough to buy real porn for yourself. It wasn’t all this streaming garbage. Have you seen the descriptions to some of the videos? Unrepeatable. At least the ones I watched anyway. More talk next time so be careful till then and don’t smoke or drink and drive. Stop scratching your bum too.