Laura Dark

A woman named Laura Dark has gotten hold of me. She dragged me out of church on Sunday morning and led me to her DVDs in the ‘loop shop’. I purchased, 2 for £50. Then I went home and scored. An 8-ball of coke. It was mint. I had a day of hedonism with that and with her. It’s all very disappointing. I was doing so well. I doubt I will ever do so well again. It’s okay though, because I have done well. I’m thinking that maybe the times of doing well are over, and now I just have free reign to enjoy myself a bit. I’m not stealing for it, or committing any kind of crime. I would never do that, because I’m not able. There isn’t a violent bone in my body.

My boy Badger robbed a shop in order to fund his crack addiction, and was sent down to jail. It can’t work, that, robbing for profit. I get high on my benefit allowance. It had to be the coke because my phet dealer is in prison. He’s out in two weeks. Laura Dark has put me on a dastardly path, one that I can’t seem to locate my way off off any time soon. I was praising the Lord for my time with her. Thank you for this revolution of hedonism God. But then the psychosis kicked in. And the hell. And everything else. But Laura remains. I’m ticking down the hours until the next payday. Maybe something will change and distract my mind from her.

The psychosis was the usual bullsh*t. I’ve been there a thousand times before. This time, my mind was totally blank, unable to mount a defence. Voices galore, and videos in my mind. The main purpose of my command voices is to convince me that they are somehow superior to me. I’m not bothered about someone or something being superior to me. There was a hint of that creature underneath my bed, but it didn’t materialise into the physical realm. I wasn’t that bothered. I started playing poker with myself, and drinking Uri Gellers (Stellas). I had a few nice hands, really taking my time with them, working out all the possibilities, taking notice like, you know. I got a Queen on the river, something that I always strive to achieve. That made up a hand of three Queens with King and Pocket Rocket Ace kickers. Extremely satisfying. Almost a full house.