Animal Rights

Is it to our ultimate shame, that, as a species, besides slaughtering one another over peanuts, we’ve allowed Tigers and the Great Apes to become all but extinct? At the day of our judgement, what are we going to say? How will it feel standing before Jehovah in a fur jacket when he gets his notebook out to check how many burgers you ate and how many spiders you squashed? Ah don’t sweat it, at least you are not in a culture where they dice up puppies on the chopping board.

Is it possible that on another world somewhere, like, say for example, THE PLANET OF THE APES, we humans are clustered in pens like cattle, being led out to be stunned and slit and bled? Is Bernard Mathews currently flapping in Turkey Hell?

Funny how that stun gun they use on pigs is supposed to kill them. They’re wriggling like mad and to the farmer it’s just a case of nerves. Yeah, sure, it looks dead mate. If I was a pig I would want that stun to kill me FLAT dead, not just dead. There's a huge difference between being dead but not lying down and being flat dead.

Shooting an elephant just for its tusks is like shooting David Hasslehoff for his two front teeth. And whosever idea it was to kill a Tiger to make a nice rug is an absolute...oh I don’t know...an absolute selfish greedy arse hole?

LEAVE THEM THE F*CK ALONE! What chance have they all got, stuck on Earth with us? No wonder they ravage us whenever they get a chance! Being locked up in cages is the best it ever gets for them. We skin dogs alive, boil lobsters alive, force feed geese until they can't believe it, stick fish in tanks hardly big enough to turn around in, harpoon the living daylights out of whales, and club little cute innocent baby white seals so that their red blood stains the ice (it was either you or him eh?). C’mon, that’s just tight...

I wanna see an ostrich or an orangutan being interviewed in the House of Lords. Only then will I be convinced that animals have rights.

Aristotle called them the brutes (chuckle), but what does that make us?