Gratitude

Back again for a meaningless rant. I was going to start with a gratitude list. First up, I should be thankful for a roof over my head. My flat has rats in it, but mostly they don’t bother me. As long as they don’t crawl into bed with me, then I can cope with em’. They have done that on occasion in the past; one was on my back and I somersaulted in a lying-down position. I think I’ve got them under control now. But I have a bed to rest in; a tap to drink water from; an oven to cook cheese on toast in; cupboards to keep my food in; wardrobes to keep my fashionable clothes in; a DVD combo TV to watch movies on; carpets for my floor; a sofa to sit on (with a rat underneath it); and loads of more little stuff.

That’s just the home. I don’t have a motor: But I do have legs to get me around from place to place. I don’t have a woman: But I do have protective spirits. One of my wives is Joan of Arc, in case I haven’t told you before. I was in trouble once with the Devil in my mind and she stripped off his boot and poured burning coals over his foot. It’s true that. I would swallow the Devil to preserve my Joan of Arc. I don’t have a lot of material creature comforts, like PlayStations and hoovers and solid hardwood furniture: But I am able to sit there quietly with just my emotions and my mind to keep me company.

I’m grateful that God is with me, most of all. I mean, I like my music and my computer time at the library, but he is the main thing, because he provides it all. I’m happy that he hasn’t given up on me, because he quite easily could have done. I’ve sinned immensely, I’ve been to jail, I’ve put drugs and the Celluloid Corridor (porn) before anything else, including my friends and family. At times I’ve been set firmly in the Devil’s possession-grip-grasp-and-custody, clutches included, ostracised from God, sitting weighed down in the dumps, lonesome, fruitless and down and out. Strangers insulted me, my associates were rude to me, nobody had a cheerful word.

I feel like I have a second chance with the Most High, to exalt myself in his glowing forgiveness. I will try harder to be kind to myself from here on in. I will pray for determination to carry on in this batty and cuckoo screwball procession of life we are all caught up in. I want to be clean and full of the recovery language. I am feeling wanting in my Pathways groups lately. And also in church; I like being around people I like. God’s Children are the most beautiful and powerful force in the known universe, and I want a piece of them please thank you. I am one myself, I must remember that.