dark am i, yet lovely, a lily among thorns, majestic as stars in procession

dark am i, yet lovely, a lily among thorns, majestic as stars in procession
WHY DESTROY YOURSELF? WHY DIE BEFORE YOUR TIME? THE KEEPERS OF THE HOUSE TREMBLE. DESIRE IS NO LONGER STIRRED. DO NOT CONFORM ANY LONGER TO THE PATTERN OF THIS WORLD.

Saturday 6 March 2010

Gaga better than Thriller



There has recently been a claim made by the musician DB Tinkerbell (signed to Hypno-Textures) that the Bad Romance video by Lady Gaga is better than the legendary Thriller video by the King of Pop himself, the late Michael Jackson.

“I had no idea that women were more creative than men,” says Tinkerbell from his pad in Liverpool. “I’m shocked. This girl isn’t just another stare-into-the-camera-and-look-sexy kind of artist, she’s the real deal. I’m telling you. This song is as good as pop gets. There’s no better. It’s the video that stunned me though. She moves in tune with the music, like a puppet to its beat. Everything’s so co-ordinated and synchronised. There are some truly spectacular shots. I watch it every morning, to psych myself up for the day ahead. It’s at around the 140 million hits mark on Youtube now. That speaks for itself. I simply can’t imagine how much it’s inspiring the young girls out there, if a big ugly grown-ass man like myself thinks it’s the best thing he’s ever seen!”

Thriller is easily the most successful music video of all time, selling 9 million units. There has naturally been fierce contempt of Tinkerbell’s claims, although the majority of opinions here at WOL deem them ‘laughable’ and aren’t taking them seriously.

“Sometimes you like a song but when you see the video it is rubbish and it puts you off the song,” he continues. “As is usual the radio is bashing Bad Romance all day and night, so I turn the radio down when it comes on, and save it for when I watch the video, because together they create an unforgettable experience.”

And finally: “I ain’t never seen nobody drop their basket in a crowded supermarket and start bopping to a Michael Jackson song. I have to Lady Gaga. It was about five on a Friday afternoon in Asda. The song was Pokerface. The person was a big old mum. She didn’t look drunk.”

DB Tinkerbell is currently awaiting news about a short-term switch to Technics. He is giving triple-track CDs of 'Lonely Repetitive Space' away with the oncoming literary series of
SCHMOE PLAYS, which is fiction for bodybuilders, starting in Walter O’Malley’s gym, Warrington, courtesy of Ya what, ha? Productions.


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