DOWN BUT NOT OUT by Got Boulders (Part 2)

SCHMOE

go figure

Got Boulders’ ideal job would be touring the country to decide on the best gym. Of the select few that he has been in, one in Colchester stands out. It was under a bridge, beside a canal, tucked away from the common population. When he went in he was greeted by the biggest man he had ever seen and the fittest muscle babe he had ever seen, who was the biggest man he had ever seen’s wife. In the actual gym itself was a help-yourself stereo system with his favourite Rammstein (Germany’s biggest music export) album sat there on top of a pile of CDs. Inspired, this was the only occasion he gave his boulders a break to blast some wheels (legs) instead. His favourite gym quote is ‘When in doubt, squat’ (although he doesn’t squat).

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Part 2 of 3

But I do return to where I belong eventually, oh ay, like a dog to its vomit, in a weakened state, all of a sudden, spur of the moment, because the comeback has to start somewhere. I ignore the looks and the comments. I just get myself stripped down to my vest and do my thing: Plenty of overhead pressing and a bunch of side lateral raises. Super-setting and drop-setting while the usual suspects idle and chat like they do every other night of the week. These guys look the same all year-round. I think they just come to park their shiny cars outside. I’m not there to make friends: I'm there to make muscle.

Like art, sculpting a physique is born of conflict. Restlessness: Discontentedness. I see my misery in the mirror, as I wallow in self-pity. I see the failed father figure demoralised by life circumstances in almost every single way imaginable, from his kids to his so-called mates and back again. I see a codger clinging to torn £5 notes in his wallet instead of venturing out into his old hunting grounds of regular employment and throwing £50 notes at buxom barmaids for a cocktail and a lap dance, then cabbing it back home. When I had a house.

I’m skinny, but I’m still strong. It may have been years since I lifted a weight, but I soon find the groove like it’s never been away. I grind out hundreds of reps, feeling the music, rap, metal, pop, dance or whatever, making up for lost time, and I do nothing but shoulders for 45 minutes. The gym is the only place where money doesn’t matter. The gym is the only place where nothing matters. The gym is the only place where it is You against You. Twisted Psyche versus Angry Ego. No outside pressures; no external influences.

It’s where I excel.

© Got Boulders MMX
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