by the ANONYMOUS JOURNALIST
2 officers of the law have been binned from the service after writing off a high-powered muscle car they confiscated from a driver they considered to be driving erratically. After pulling him, he kopped for his tax disc been a day out of date. The officers jumped into the Mitsubishi Evo VIII while waiting for a tow truck. The owner, who passed his breathalyser, watched on from the bus stop with his shopping bags as they ploughed his pride and joy into a greenhouse in someone's garden, flipping it in the process.
The pending investigation will try to uncover the reasons why the motor needed turning around, and why, if this was the case, the officers decided to do this via a roundabout nearly half a mile away instead of doing a simple 3-point turn.
The owner of the greenhouse said he thought a plane had crashed into his garden. He had saved for years to do up his cherished garden and had only just finished building the greenhouse. Upon seeing the occupants get out the vehicle, he prepared to throttle what he expected to be a pair of drunken yob boy-racers. When he saw the uniforms, he thought they were morons going to a fancy dress party, and throttled them anyway, thereby getting himself arrested for assault.
The only injury sustained was by the gentleman's dog, who was in the garden at the time, and suffered a fractured ankle.
PC Wigglesworth, a former rugby player, said he 'only touched' the accelerator pedal.
The owner of the car described the officers as 'divvies' who wanted locking up. He is currently seeking compensation.
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