Resistance

Yo there compatriot. How are things? I’m still stubbornly resisting the lure of interracial pornography and Class A substances binding together to land me in hot water. I’m getting tempted all the time over the last few days. I just wanna go the sex shop and buy some merchandise then pay a visit to my dealer for some phet. I call the sex shop the loop shop because I’m always in there throughout different phases of my life. I wouldn’t wish it for my son. Just a thought: Can you still have kids and be badass? I saw a gangster in a blacked-out Merc yesterday but his tone was lowered by the crying baby on the back seat. All my kids are spiritual. Ghosts. At least five of them. I don’t count.

Any old way, what shall we talk about today? I’ve more or less explained my sexual desire. Porn and nicotine are the most addictive things in the world by my estimation. Drugs are merely an aphrodisiac to sustain the fun. I shouldn’t be so rude. But it’s not as if I’m talking about blue-veined nipples and throbbing penises is it? Don’t forget that ever-so-tight arse. And the big long legs that never end. And the vulnerable shoulders. And the sharp black nails. And the vampiric lipstick. Plus the piercings. And all the rest of whatever floats your boat. With Class As.

Enough already. I’ve been ‘connecting’ relatively well. I’ve been sharing in groups about my mouse mainly, that magical creature I told you stood on its hind legs and threw a crumb at me. It squeaks in the mornings sometimes but unless I’m strung out on a comedown I don’t perceive it. When I’m on a "psychotic" comedown I see a lot more than mice, let me assure you. On one occasion I was surrounded by giant slugs and snails. Their smell was atrocious. That’s just one example. On another I was surrounded by bad spirits (they were in the curtains because they express themselves through fabric), and a good one called Bennie came in and battered them all for me. That was aboveboard beautiful in all sincerity. The way she strode into battle with her weapon…

I’m 50% Rare. That’s halfway towards 28 Days. After 28 Days I become Rarefied, entering a different mental state from the ordinary. I can’t wait for it this time, if I do it. I’ll be hanging around there for much longer than only three days like I did last time. It’s hard getting there in the first place, but even harder staying there. The longer it goes on, the stronger the compulsion to use gets. That damn loop shop…at least it’s not internet porn though. I’ve been away from that for two years now. Shop bought porn is basically get what you’re given. There’s extremely limited choice. With the web you can have exactly what you want, more or less. Or at least that’s my experience. I’d be there all day and night online, fapping away like a naughty little boy. The fact is though that I’m ashamed of it and I want it out of my life. All of it, even the lame tame shop-bought. So good riddance, at least for now x