Still Here

Hello White Voider, it’s really special to be back with you on this delightful day that God has rewarded us with. It feels like we’ve been apart for a lifetime. I hereby do solemnly swear that I’m taking precautions as to not let this distance ever be so great again. I’m in love with you, that much needs saying straight off the bat. I love the fact that I can drop you a line anytime and hopefully inspire you to continue battering your struggles, as I am battering my tribulations on a daily basis. I’ve just destroyed my pornography, which always gives me a boost and a sense of instant relief. I feel the grace of God preserving me through these quite simply horrendous, hideous and harrowing times. I’m having none of it for very long quite soon. I plan to stop smoking and drinking and get back in the gym. There’s no mad rush to do so though. At the moment I’m quite content with a fag and a can in my hand. It’s sad but true. The pressing issue is talking to you, my ever oh so precious important mighty White Voider.

 I’ve still got rodents in my flat. My enemies call me Black Vermin. That might sound like a hurtful cheap insult but I’ve been called worse and I am a writer (master wordsmith), so it bounces off my rhino hide like water off a duck’s back. They can call me anything, I don’t care, they are just trying to strip my humanity away to treat me as sub-human. That’s their method. I feel sorry for the trans people who are getting tortured, as I can only imagine the names they will be getting called by the hate mobbers. As for the mice (no rats visible presently but I’ve had them), well, one of them stood up on its hind legs and threw a crumb at me. Have you ever heard anything like that in your entire life? I sure ain’t and it happened to me. I see it as a magical creature in a way. Several weeks ago one of my major parasites gave birth by laying an egg inside me. It hatched and I imagine it to be a giant claw with an eye on it or something. Parasites are very strange to look at, on a par with the stuff that lurks deep under the heart of the bottom of the ocean. They are very frightening and that is why I have never googled them in my life. I have only ever saw one single photographic evidence of one and that was on Jerry Springer The Opera Movie. Why don’t you do me a favour and google human parasites for me? Maybe collate some pictures. I’d love you to have an opinion on the subject. Perhaps we can prattle on about it one time in the near future. After teatime, maybe.

What else? My faith is strong, I’m just fighting depression day in and day out. It’s hard staying active, connected and busy. I’m currently in the library as usual, as I have no computer at home. I can’t afford to have one with my online sex addiction, the temptation would be overwhelming. I don’t mind blogging in public as long as the building is open and the network is online, as it hasn’t been for the majority of the morning. I had to go to a mental health drop-in to kill some time. A 6”2 tall woman runs that group. She’s a large lady and I like her a lot, she’s very friendly and is joined by a volunteer named Clint who you can talk about anything with. They seem to be genuinely interested in my affairs which feels nice.

 I met a lady schizo in the pub the other day (and even went back to hers wink-wink); she said that she gets called a Bastian by her voices, which apparently means a cross between a bastard and a lesbian haha. What will the hate campaigners think of next eh? Why do they have to be so cruel to people? Why can’t they be like yours truly and just wish for the greatest goodwill to all mankind? I’m sure you’re the same. Never give up on reading this blog and discovering more about my own personal journey and truth. I promise I won’t let you down. Over ‘n’ out for now comrades x