Isolation Chamber

Did I tell you about the time they tried to get me into the pressure cooker (isolation chamber) in Runcorn Brooker Centre? It started with me getting sectioned for nothing so naturally I tried to escape because I believed I could hear sounds of torture coming from adjacent rooms. I wholeheartedly felt that I was in a death camp. What would you try and do? You’d try and leave, wouldn’t you? It’s natural. Anybody would.  I got through the first set of security doors but was halted by the second. That’s when the police arrived. One of them was a giant and the sight of someone bigger killed the fight in me. They escorted me back onto the hospital unit once again with my responsible clinician. Only they walked me right far back into the bottom of the hospital. Where are we going, I thought, my room’s that way!

They tried to pump me with an injection which I adamantly refused. Eventually they gave up trying. They wouldn’t even let me read the instructions before jamming it into me, which I wanted to do only to buy some time to think. The police and doctor left me in the secure hands of a male orderly, who tried to drag me into the isolation chamber, which I have nicknamed the ‘pressure cooker.’ I had a great old tussle with that male orderly! It was mano gegan mano (man against man). One or two demons appeared as he dragged me towards it. I thought I was doomed. I thought all of my good spirits (children) were going to come out if he got me in there, leaving me alone forever and ever. It was at this time that I firmly understood that I have children inside of my spiritual property, or heavenly collateral. I realised it at this moment. Bennie, the mother of these children inside of my mind and inside of my heart, appeared from nowhere and said hi. This gave me strength I didn’t know I had and I started to reverse the male orderly’s forceful pull of me. I started pulling him. Then I saw a chair and held onto it, wrapping myself in its legs. I was safe as long as I held onto the chair. I’d started weeping uncontrollably. Tears stained my cheeks. I muttered two words… “The Children…”

The orderly conceded defeat. A female nurse appeared with great sympathy for me and led me to the garden where I could breathe. Once they saw me crying, everyone changed and felt sorry for me. The whole episode had gotten to me and broken me. She gave me a sarnie and was really rather nice to me. We had a pleasant chat. I felt respected by her for being so human. I felt like I was surrounded by invisible children in that garden. It was so special; relief was etched all over me. There were about fifty of them playing with each other as children do. I’m still not sure what was and what wasn’t in my imagination to this day, only the surety that I was flanked with many kids. Macauly Culkin appeared in my psychosis and started talking to me about the kids, describing what they were doing and saying he was the king of them all! Ha. Great fun. Eventually they would get me in that pressure cooker, weak and blinded, but not that time.