dark am i, yet lovely, a lily among thorns, majestic as stars in procession

dark am i, yet lovely, a lily among thorns, majestic as stars in procession
WHY DESTROY YOURSELF? WHY DIE BEFORE YOUR TIME? THE KEEPERS OF THE HOUSE TREMBLE. DESIRE IS NO LONGER STIRRED. DO NOT CONFORM ANY LONGER TO THE PATTERN OF THIS WORLD.

Friday 30 April 2010

Strip Search

From the radio play SALFORD HAM.

Donald has told the customs officer he is concealing 12 ecstasy spliffs.

CUSTOMS OFFICER: Are you sure they’re up here? You didn’t swallow them?

DONALD: (Groaning in pleasure) Ah yeah, you’ve nearly got it.

CUSTOMS OFFICER: Could you keep your hips still and stop squirming all over the place?

DONALD: Deeper, baby, deeper, almost there.

CUSTOMS OFFICER: Yuk! There’s nothing up here! You just wanted me to...yuk!

DONALD: No, no, keep going, you nearly had it.

CUSTOMS OFFICER: Get outta here!

DONALD: (shivery breath) Okay, I’m going, I’m going, but can I take your number?

CUSTOMS OFFICER: Now!

Two main characters are Donald and his big-shot boss, Dick Fudge. Their journey begins in the middle of the jungle with a ton of man-eating lion in the area and ends on a local market stall with a sudden surge of stray mongrel following them.




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