Celluloid Corridor

 Guest Blog by Stephen Kendrick

I’ve just destroyed my porn collection. I call it the Celluloid Corridor. I only had six DVDS this time. They were worth £100. Throughout my life, I must have eradicated them about seven or eight times. The first time was the biggest collection. We’re talking about 50 titles, most of them original. I burned them in the forest because I met a woman I loved. Her name is Bennie. She is still my artistic muse.

Every time I buy porn from the sex shop, I feel my Granddad in Heaven looking down with a frown upon his face.

I made eye contact when I met her in an art gallery and fell in love pronto. It was kinda preordained, because I’d wrote about lovers meeting in an art gallery way back when in college. The story was called Eternity. She’s blond with German heritage and she rides horses. That’ll do me.

Until I met her, the power porn had over me was hard to comprehend. It was my life. I never believed I’d ever meet someone. All of my feministic ideals were derived from the celluloid actresses I was salivating over on the silver screen. Bennie is prim and proper. She’s not working class like me.

In between the first destruction and the last eradication was made up of internet porn. As of now, I’ve not watched internet porn for about 2 years. I had to get rid of the net to get rid of internet porn. It was the only way for me. One night, when Bennie told me to, I put my laptop in the bath. There were about 27 hardcore internet videos on it. And that was that.

It’s difficult. The actresses call out to me like wolves from the other side of a valley. Until I incinerate the Celluloid Corridor, they are impossible to ignore. The temptation is too strong. They are too sexy and beautiful. When I wreck it, I feel instant relief wash over my soul.

Hopefully this time will be the last time. At the very least it buys me some time away from my crippling addiction, because it takes time to amass decent celluloid. I call the sex shop the ‘loop’ shop, because I’m in there every year or two. If I could predestine my son’s life, I would choose to keep him far away from the Celluloid Corridor. It’s just not a healthy place to occupy. Nothing wrong with it for some, like wedded couples behind closed doors for instance; but for me, a single man with an addictive personality, it is a no go.

My advice to you, if you are struggling with porn, is to destroy it every now and again. A good time to do this is when the novelty starts to wear off. When you introduce something new into your collection, it is probably going to batter you for a while. As soon as it starts to feel old, get rid. I promise, if you’ve never done this, the relief is sweet. You can start again at any time, but it is nice to give yourself a break.

Streaming is different, because you can’t get rid. I’ve never viewed porn on my phone, so I can’t comment. It was always a darkened room and a 40 inch TV for me, or my PC screen.

Good luck.