RARE

There’s a place in my head that’s a better place, a happier place. I call it The Rarefied Atmosphere, or, rather being RARE. I’ve known about this place for about 15 years. All it takes as qualification to get there is abstinence from drugs, pornography and fapping for a set relative timescale. At the moment, I’m halfway there. So I’m 50% RARE.

Addiction has a shape for me and it is a triangle. A triangle has three sides, right? Then drugs are one side, porn is another, and fapping is the remaining side. Together, when housing myself who is trapped hopelessly inside, they form a formidable trap. It can be nigh on impossible to break out. I am powerless over my addiction…

It feels dangerous writing this in case I slip up making it look like a stupid game. The heart of the matter is that it is actually life or death, physically and spiritually. Now that I’ve published it online makes it all the more serious. To be honest, it’s been the biggest thing in my life ever since its inception. Very rarely am I am able to admit to this with such a level of honesty. This is the first time since never.

50% RARE feels great. I’m more confident, more chatty, it’s like been on crack. Imagine what it feels like to be floating around in The Rarefied Atmosphere? Life is amazing there. It is totally different. The way I wake up, my head, how I perceive God’s glorious green Earth. Wow. Take me there. My own special place which I created all by myself, which no one can ever trespass in or take away. I can face anyone or anything when I’m RARE.

You can throw in your hate campaigns, your psychotronic weaponry, your gang-stalking, your spy satellites, and your psychosis as much as you like. I’m living and I’m happy and I’m getting over my faults and that’s all that matters. Hell, you may even see me back in the gym again.

I don’t care that I’m black (unashamedly), that I’m poor (not that poor), or that I’m anything else negative you can think of. It just gives me an inner peace which can’t be bought for all the money in the world. Literally nothing can compete with it. Why? Because it is head space, and the whole world is a state of mind.

(Have you seen the song State of Mind by Holly Valance? It’s a great little dance number. Wasn’t she in Hollyoaks? I met Rebecca from Hollyoaks in Liverpool once in a coffee shop entrance. I marked the occasion by complimenting her on the role she was playing at the time. It affected me quite a bit because of the similarities between that and my first crush with a teacher. It was tragic and beautiful, that role with Justin. A word needed to be had.)

To cement my dedication to RARITY I’ve made a pact with an angel called Prue who takes the form of a young Chinese girl. This has involved snapping some discs and deleting some numbers. Sounds easy, but it is not. You are effectively wiping out your history and everything else who you have become. It is overhauling your lifestyle.

I said I’ll start to write about my angels/guides/imaginary friends in good time and I probably will do, just to prove to you lot how mental I am. Only mental people are welcome here, I’ve just decided. Addicts or mentals or ex-porn actresses. I’m not fussy – there’s obviously something not quite straight about you or you wouldn’t be here, would you? Don’t worry, that’s the way I like you. Until next time, keep coming back x