Bible Image

Well here I am again all up in the Blogosphere, not giving up and not fading away. I’m determined to keep this up so long as there is breath in my bones. All my enemies must really despise this aspect of creative expression about me. Make them live long so they can see me progress. It’s horrible having enemies and being hated for no reason but a sense of God-given righteousness helps me get over it. Love balances the hate, and I truly know that I am loved by Christ.

I started crying instantly the last time I opened the bible. It was the first psalm, I believe. I had an experience within the text. As my tears dropped onto the pages, all the words began to blur. Then, behind the softened, obscure wording, I made out the impression of some kiddy artwork. An image. It was a drawing my nephew did when he was a little kid. Beautiful. Images and tears; tears, words and images.

Still really missing not doing any artwork. My initials are A T D and that in my opinion stands for Art Till Death, although at the moment I’m not living up to that rule. I still immensely enjoy talking to you though, I know things are kind of personal lately, it’s just the way I’m feeling. Perhaps I’ll get around to some fiction or articles in the near future.

I’m coming back bigger and better, I really believe it. Spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. Physically I’m a lightweight again, I haven’t trained since I was besieged by kidney pain a couple of months ago. Now I’m struggling with throat pain, it’s making me vomit for no reason and it’s a hot, scorching, painful kind of vomit. I think it might be my parasite taking a dump inside me making me sickly. Do parasites take dumps? Where do they go? Ugh.

My friend isn’t doing too well presently. He’s really depressed because he’s been used by someone. I’ve just attended a mental health drop-in with him, although we didn’t talk very deeply about anything in depth. It was just wishy-washy small talk really, it didn’t help either of us. Compliments for trying though. Some groups are better than others. We like to talk about our emotions.

I’m about to go to Positive Thoughts, a twice-weekly group at the drug rehab clinic. People keep reiterating not to give up on recovery. It’s so disappointing though when you lose all your days, your recovery capital, your clean time, as I just have. I hate to tell you that I am only on Day 5, as opposed to Day 20 last week. It’s no great shakes. I’ll get back there with the grace of God. You watch me. And if I don’t? Well, I’m still a Christian. I still know which side my bread is buttered on. All will be well. I’m trying not to worry. I know that there are spirits around me who want the best for me and look out for me and to them I am eternally grateful. I love my spirits. Do you think that something is looking out for you? I hope and pray that there is. I really mean that. Take care, look after yourself, and keep up keeping up.