Bang Average

 I had a vivid nightmare on Monday night which I’m only beginning to shake off now. It was sooo horrible, I was in physical pain in it; it was more like a night terror. The following night I had several more, of less intensity. I believe it’s the Devil, strutting his stuff, because he can’t get at me via my addiction. I’ve closed his inroads down by being clean for so long. One of my records was 46 Days from years ago. That number haunted me. I know that the latest number will, should I relapse. But I don’t intend to, for the moment.

For, no matter how unpleasant the night terrors get, they’re nothing compared to being in 24 hours + of psychosis. Nothing in this life can hurt me like my addiction can. It’s sooo painful. And it’s degenerative, so it gets worse with time (and age). You have to factor in the traumatising effect, it works like a water-board, the longer spent under excessive pressure the worse the outcome. And the more weeks spent away from it, the worse it seems when it comes back, because it regurgitates all that shock value from the early years. It doesn’t sound like much, listening to sinister voices and hallucinating, but it is, it’s far more intolerable than words can express. I truly never want to go back there. Say a prayer for me, if you have it in you. A quick two-seconder. Please keep Andy safe and strong. Thanks. That’ll do nicely.

Just a note on football, because I’m desperate for content. Bayer Leverkusen have gone the whole German campaign unbeaten. This rivals Arsenal’s Invincibles season in 2003/04. A stunning feat of achievement whether you’re a fan of the game or not. And what have Bayer Neverlosin' only gone and done? Lost in in the final with 4 days of the year left! How cruel is life!? Day 361! You couldn’t write it up could you? Win one more game and make it a whole year, for Pete’s sake! And stick a trophy on it while you’re there! And what about Harry Kane, 44 goals in 45 games for Bayern Munich? I once heard a bloke slating the Chinese because they haven’t got a Harry Kane.

“You may be a superpower, and The United States may owe you trillions in unpaid debt, and you may have top-drawer space and nuclear programs, but you haven’t got a Number 9 like Harry Kane.”

 The bloke didn’t pause to consider whether the Chinese actually wanted a Harry Kane. No. And why would they? Because as one Chelsea supporter pointed out on TalkSport radio last week, he is, and I quote “Bang Average.” Not merely just average, no, but bang average. I couldn’t have put it better myself. THE WAY I SEE IT, all he does is fall over whenever anybody gets close to him. I will give him this though: He can take a good penalty.

Anyway, will wrap it up here. Not a great deal to report, just keeping fighting the good fight.