Big Numbers In The Sky

I’m seeing big numbers in the sky. My life is defined by them. As you know, my target has always been 28 Days. After 28 Days away from porn and drugs, my existence changes beyond compare. I feel fresher, brighter, more chatty, more social, more everything. I don’t have bad days. I have too much power to be combated by depression. I have God, the main dude, on my side. Life is great like this. It’s got nothing to do with PGs (pregabalin). I’m floating, maaan…

I scored the PGs late last night. My dealer dropped them off. I don’t even class them as a drug, they are more like a mood stabilizer. If the doctors were human, they would give me a big tub of them. They really help with the general mood and feeling. Instead the doctor injects me with an antipsychotic bullshit which hurt like mad the last time the nurse did it. She rammed that needle so hard into my arse bone I almost head-butted the wall. Bitch, learn how to do it properly.

I did a mountain walk yesterday. It was so tough, my lungs and my muscles were busting out of themselves. I was getting angry with bitter resentment at the leader, as he kept lying about how many steep hills there were. At one point on the hardest part I exclaimed, “F*cking Hell!” “It’s a gentle slope, you won’t feel it,” he replied. The sense of accomplishment once you reach the summit however is splendid, with a panoramic view. There was a small family at the top to greet us. It was a scouse fella with strong legs with a young baby and a very stocky XL Pitbull dog. His missus’ face was red with exhaustion. It was a terrible slope at the end!

Just been to the biggest SMART meeting I have ever witnessed. We were talking about grief a lot. I mentioned the time after I buried my father. I resorted to Lesbian dildoe sex on pure ecstasy. The pills delivered me into comfort, away from grief and disaster. It was so warm and welcoming and winning. It was all I had at the time. It helped me cope. I could hardly wait to get them down my neck. Ecstasy was my drug of choice in the beginning, before powerful stimulants came into the equation.

I’ll just wrap this up with a thank you for reading. Keep returning, as I’m here forever. I’ll always have a comforting word so long as The Lord is involved. I’m so glad I don’t worship the Devil, he’s a bad nob head. God is the one to be with, for ever in eternity with his Son. I’ve met his son several times, in a deep December psychosis, and his power was sweet and lovely. He helped me out when I really needed it. Jesus Christ is the Lord I serve, God’s only Begotten Son, Prince of Peace and Lord of Lords and King of Kings. Amen.