Forgiveness

I had the most astonishing time travel dream the other night, I had to ring The Samaritans at half 3 in the morning to share it. I travelled back in time to when my perps were school children. I was back in school with all the knowledge of my adulthood while they were unbeknowing students with no record of the wrongs they had perpetrated against me throughout the journey of my life. I looked them in the eyes and they really didn’t know that I knew. I knew what they were up to though. Their evil had an aura around it, but they were just kids. I woke myself up on purpose once I had spoken with them and instantly forgave them once back in the land of the living. I had a spirit of forgiveness in my heart. I forgive my perps!

Don’t get me wrong, I still despise every fibre of their existence, in a way, but I’ll not be consumed by hatred. You may have heard of Stockholm Syndrome. It’s when captives develop a psychological bond with their captors. I’d been getting a bit of this, when they harass me with voices. I’ve been getting childish with them in my Christianity towards them. So nice, that I’m almost childish, while they are always satanic towards me. I’ve been working on showing my torturers love for a good couple of months now, but nothing like the overwhelming forgiveness which enveloped me during the other night’s time travel dream. Along with the end of brain technologies being used upon me (I’ve defeated all that bull-crappy), this is another amazing breakthrough in my personal discovery of the innate spiritual consciousness lying awakened deep within. I now possess a keen awareness of God and the miracles He has shown me. Forever praise His Holy Name.

Had an employment interview yesterday, with Kerrie. We talked about paid work alongside people who suffer from psychosis in a Peer-to-Peer setting. It’s just something to think about, I don’t have any goals or ambitions. But it’s definitely a unique angle, as I have the lived experiences to really help someone suffering. I also want to start my own psychosis group, or attain help setting one up, for the same reason. Plus I’m really interested in the subject too. Kerrie believes that I’ll be good at it and that I’ll get a lot out of it. Paid work is as daunting as it sounds but something has to give; I can’t go on drinking and smoking myself into an early grave. I’m getting bored of it. I need something that motivates me into action, something that makes me care and burn with passion; or at least something that is mentally engaging. Psychosis presses all those buttons. I can just see myself at the head of a table in a classroom somewhere leading the discussion on all things made out of madness. I’d be willing to share my testimony with people, no problem, and very encouraged to listen to others.