Another Blip

Well, the shit has not quite hit the proverbial fan yet, but it’s blowing in the right direction. I’ve almost skinted myself on cocaine use. I got paid for two weeks and had a blowout on the first day with a porn girl called Kacie who was busy gobbling big black men all night. I’ve sacrificed two weeks of my life for one night spent with her. I knew what I was doing, it was what I wanted. We had a sexy horny connection across the airwaves. But, now that it’s over, I wish I’d have resisted so I could do normal things, like eating meals in pubs. Life is crap with no doe.

The beak was good and I had a whale of a time, at the time. Now I’m pondering food banks. I just want my money back. If, over the last week and a half, it could be restored, I’d have over £800 in the bank. Instead, I’ve got eighty notes in my pocket. I’ve got to negotiate my way through the next two weeks on the breadline. It’s going to be tough, because I’ve been the pub already for a couple of pints. When I’ve got money, a pint just seems like a glass full of gassy nonsense; but when I’m skint it seems like the amber nectar. I’ll survive, I always have done, but it’s no fun.

Now I’m in what feels like a wasteland for the next twelve days. The good thing is that I won’t be using, because I can’t afford it. My speed dealer is banged up, so that’s off the menu. Good riddance to him, with no offence ingratiated. The wrong people (dealers) still keep appearing up ahead of the path I am on. If it wasn’t for them, I’d be clean, serene, pristine, and supreme. As I will get back to, eventually. It’s all about keeping patient and waiting for God to weave his magic wonders. I have a loan in the balance which I’m still waiting for, they received my application but didn’t give me a decision. I’ll have to ring them up, because it would really help me out if they could send it late.

Apart from all this I am fine. I got into a spot of bother with the psychosis when I, while in a drug induced trance, thought there was somebody in my property trying to kidnap me, but I snapped out of it and started reading the bible. It spoke to me like never before, I believe the words can change in it, depending upon your mood and consciousness. That’s why they call it The Living Word. From what I gathered, God can forgive porn and drug addiction. He’s much more inclined to wrap up our fallacies with love and compassion. As long as we keep the faith in His Son Christ Jesus and continue to try and improve in our alignment with his will. See you next time, keep fighting the good fight.