Granite

Hi White Voider, hope all well. My week has started off okay, I was busy all yesterday and early to bed, after a group about the meaninglessness and monotony of recovery. That means that things get boring when they are going well and you are following a routine. A little voice inside your head just wants to smash the routine to smithereens and get high. It’s a godsend in a way, routine, it keeps us grounded and humble and active and engaged and maintains that workaholic mindset, which is healthy, but in another way it’s tame, tedious and tiresome. Geben mir some cocaine!!!

I’m actually having second thoughts about using on payday. I’ve had too long to think about it, and the cons are settling in. The cons far override the pros. One’s a long list and the other is just a few bullet points. I’ve got them all stuck onto my fridge. The only thing to do is wait and see how I feel on payday. There’s no way of telling what I might or might not do until the funds are actually in the bank. Then it’s fire tonight time!

Been reading about David Harewood a bit, about the terrific life he’s had as displayed in the book. Flying into different cities around the globe to do theatre with other actors he loves and all. It would be a quite a thing wouldn’t it, that? I worked with my best mate for 18 months fitting granite worktops in celebrities’ houses. It was a special time of my life as I was genuinely happy. It makes a hell of a difference if you are working with your mates and people you love as opposed to mundane humdrum work colleagues. A work colleague means nothing to anyone, he’s just another bum in a job who you are forced to spend 8 hours a day with. Working with your bessie however means howling with laughter from the first bell at 8am, all the way through till half four. We had such a giggle all day long, I didn’t smoke at the time but they were getting stoned on the job and everything. We called a spliff a ‘doobie.’ We used to verbally commentate on everything we were doing, it was dead funny, just talk talk talk talk talk. The granite was exceptionally heavy (I couldn’t lift it now), but we were all big and strong so it didn’t matter so much. The island pieces in kitchens were ridiculously weighty, the strain on the lower back was tremendous. And try lugging a 2 metre length up three flights of stairs for a living! One time I smashed all the granite because it was tied up incorrectly and I took a turn too fast, another time I crashed the van into a lamppost, it was all going on. My bessie pissed himself when I crashed that van into a lamppost, I rang the boss instantly and told him what had happened. It was in the morning so he was flapping all day until he could see the damage in the afternoon. Fortunately it wasn’t that bad so there was no big issue. Maybe more about my granite fixing days another time, there’s loads of memories there. Chill out for now x