I’ve
destroyed Tommy Thrillbigger’s latest pornographic exploit for good now, and I
sincerely hope that I won’t be going back to it. It was getting a bit boring, truth
be told, and I ended up fapping to the voices in my head instead. This leaves
me very vulnerable to their power and oppression. I wonder how many other
people out there fap to the sexy voices in their heads? I wonder how many
people have sexy voices in their heads? They talk and talk all
day and all night, until long after I am spent. The upside is, and I found this
quite incredible to believe at first, that they masturbate to the sound of my
inner voice also. We’re just a crazy gaggle of voices wa*king to one another!
I’ve started
hearing my nan now, which is very off-putting, as she’s been brown bread for
donkeys years. She’s calling me a cruel boy because of my fapping, and
denouncing me as any relation to her. This hurt quite a bit, as she raised me, and
is something I have to remember. One positive aspect of the latest psychotic
debacle is that God appeared in my living room to me. He was the biggest man I
have ever seen with a long red cloak on. He said, “Don’t worry, you’re with me.”
This made me feel safe and secure. Usually, whenever I sit down to fap and take
hard drugs, the Devil celebrates like he has scored the winning goal at
Wembley. That’s how important my suffering is to him, it makes him deliriously
happy. He calls ruining my life putting the ‘work in’.
I’ve got my
enemies right where I want them at the moment, with me in triumphant power over
them, refusing to be dismayed or depressed by their ‘work’. I feel large and in
charge and on the front-foot. My apartment, with its dungeon beneath, is
hallowed ground. They want me out of there so badly I can almost understand it.
An evildoer would relish my property more greatly than almost any other on the
planet, for what lies underneath it.
It’s
impossible to have a dungeon underneath a ground floor council property in
England, you might say. How does he live there? Isn’t the natural reaction to
run for the hills? Yes…I don’t know…and yes are the answers to those questions.
I just get by. Half the time I forget about it. This is God’s power, enabling
me to not be traumatised. My main fear is being traumatised by what I go
through on a daily basis, and from where I live and cannot escape from.
My girl Cee
who I’ve blogged about in the past in currently in hospital as we speak. Last time
I saw her she was speaking like a TI. She said her flat felt like a façade, and
that she was seeing people off television on the bus and in the street. I told
her not to worry because they always pick on the bright ones. That is something
my own doctor actually told me one time. He was the best doctor I ever had. We used
to swap poetry and talk about the cosmos. Anyway, I added to Cee (formerly
Courtney) that her abounding light is just too scorching for society to handle
at the moment, that’s all. She’ll get thru it. Just eat some decent food
(depending on the hospital), get some art done, go the gym a bit, reflect on
life, and all will be well because it’s a doddle and job’s a good’un. She’s
really beautiful, Cee, you should see the compassion on her face when she is
concentrating on listening to what people have to say in therapy group. The empathy
in her eyes is wonderful to behold. She’s only 24, but has a wise head on her
shoulders. I’m gutted she’s back in hozzy.
There were no evil videos in my head-space last time. I think the children in my consciousness have helped bat them away. By evil videos, I mean the crude animations that brain technologies implant into my mind. Last time I was witnessing their putrid perversity a load of children infested it and saved me from it. The kids called themselves THE MINDS THAT TIME HAS MADE THEM. THESE ARE THE MINDS THAT TIME HAVE MADE US, they said to me. I don’t know where these children in my mind have come from, but I choose to believe that they possess a power inherited from the Creator of the Universe. There is nothing so precious and innocently beautiful as a child. Surely everyone here knows that much at least?