Snapshots

ALIEN OBJECTS

by

WORKING CLASS HANDS

Competition From Others

What follows are examples of work from known associates I have collaborated with either past or present. Whether your efforts are superior or inferior to your competition is irrelevant. What matters is the artistic journey and exploration of self. Your only adversary, in reality, is you. The only object you should strive to better is your last, by you.

ADDING DECORATIVE GLASS TO MELT INSIDE 
THE KILN. ANY OLD BROKEN BOTTLE OF STELLA WILL DO

A CAST OF SOMEONE'S HEAD. CLEAR 
NOSTRIL PASSAGE ESSENTIAL FOR BREATHING. 

POOR GREEN PENGUIN HAD 
ITS WINGS CLIPPED. #OOPS

LOVELY SILK PAINTING OF A 
GRAYSON PERRY-ESQUE VASE.

PLENTIFULLY STAMPED HOUSE NUMBER 
PLATE FOR ATTACHMENT TO FRONT 
DOOR. THE DEVIL IS IN THE DETAIL.

GLASS JEWEL SAMPLES. ATD IS IN A 
MAD RUSH TO EXPERIMENT WITH GLASS. 
PRONTO. DOUBLE QUICK. SOON AS. 

LIGHTHOUSE LAMP NEEDS A 
SHADE. CAN YOU HELP?

BASE OF LIGHTHOUSE. QUALITY 
JOB ON THE MOSSY ALGAE.

ANOTHER LAMP BASE IN DEVELOPMENT.

A PUMPKIN SPHERE, WITH HOLES IN FOR LEDs.

THIS SPHERE FLASHES DURING DARKNESS
 THANKS TO  SOLAR POWERED LEDs. 
OH, AND IT'S SET INTO A PIECE OF LOG.

ASHTRAYS IN THE SHAPE OF LUNGS. 
SO YOU DON'T FORGET TO TRY TO GIVE UP.

THIS PEACOCK IS A SYNTHESIS OF CLAY AND GLASS.

Pottery, Ceramics or Sculpting?

Pottery, or ceramics, can't half be boring at times. When your hands are sore from rubbing a rolling pin up and down like a pastry chef, and you're stood there in your apron, you might even start to feel like a pastry chef, minus the wage packet and free food. You're constantly dirty, you're constantly washing your hands, your work goes into a hot oven, and there's always a big clean up at the end. But with pottery, or ceramics shall I say, there's the added danger of breathing in dust and dangerous chemicals. If you're lucky, while another old vase is drying, you might have something already fired, just sat there waiting to be painted. Aren't you ever so lucky now? Feel free to spend x amount of hours faffing around with paint brushes, pots of water, mixing pallets, and toilet roll. Don't forget to breathe in those leady fumes from the open ends of half a dozen different poisonous glazes too. And don't forget those three coats.

There's quite a lot to be done in pottery. I mean ceramics. But truthfully, the very best part about all of it, besides maybe positioning the finished article on top of the telly, is sculpting something irregular like the Catacomb Heart, pictured top and bottom. Stick your plant pots, with all the best due respect in the world, understand, and your bronze-cast animal busts. Throw all your teapots in "the biggest bloody dustbin you can find" [Brian Clough, The Damned United (2009), played by Michael Sheen, in reference to what the Leed's players should do with their previous season's trophy haul]. Sorry, have I been saying pottery and ceramics? Actually, I should have been saying sculpting. Sculpting is the best part about pottery and ceramics. Using your hands. Not a cookery implement. The cookery implement parts tend to be much harder.

It's surprising how little sculpting you can do in pottery and ceramics though. Honestly. There are so many tools and trays and boxes and bits and bottles...who the frig needs to handle any sticky wet clay? Why not skip that part, as I did for so long, and jump straight into the bit where you paint a nice pre-made cup, or nice pre-made plate, or nice pre-made xmas tree, or nice already-made just about anything else? Above is a rolled slab with aztec markings repeatedly pressed all over it, with texture, in my booky-wook, being the name of the game. What do you call that? Pressing? Stamping? Dotting? Dabbing? Indenting? Making marks? Don't ask me. I Dunno with a capital D.

Above is a Graveyard Plot. If you see differently, answers on the usual postcards. Who the fluff knows what this thing is? Hands were used, okay, but I'd be hesitant to call it sculpture. I'd call it a Pizza Clock decorated with roly-poly worms from the extruder machine, that's what I'd call it. All good fun, when it's not tedious, monotonous, frustrating and boring, mind. Passes a few hours. But it's nothing like making something unusual with your bare hands, shaping it as you go along. Nothing like making a lump of something like the Catacomb Heart which will end up like nobody knows what. Just grab a lump, make some grooves and stuff, and that's it. Simples.

Above: 

BOULEVARD THRONE 77

Here is where I conceived the Alien Planet this morning, on my front lawn, due to a caffeine buzz and a nicotine rush. This portal, when constructed (plinths seen here were borrowed from tutor, although I am halfway through making my own), will allow the passage of myself and two yoga-practising virgin  Mermaids on a hyperbolic trajectory through Mintakas's orbit into the left empty eyeball socket of the Skull of Golgotha, densest black hole in western Andromeda, but only if we each have tickets stamped and approved by Ramsbottom's Presbyterian County Cricket and Hopscotch Association. To create a 3-D representational model of the Alien Planet, I will need only egg boxes, lego, and circuit boards. Next time, padres, next time...
any mistakes are not mine 

New Termite Piece

I’m delighted and thrilled to welcome another addition to the Termite family! It’s smashing to see a familiar face and he will be much loved of course, what with him being the cutest and all!

This white clay is best for sculpting because it is very soft and malleable. Not the best for threading though! Trying to sew the worms through the holes with this stuff was like trying to play pool with a rope, or have sex while rotten-eyed drunk! It was like knitting fog, I tell thee! Of the thirteen coils you can see on the front, there were at least fifty on the waste pile! All buzzin’ now however!

The rear side is so messy that it would take a perfectionist to even try and tidy it up. It’s best accepting the messiness as a design in and of itself.

And as for me, well, you know, I’m just spinning along on this wheel of life like everyone else, unable to get off, pause it for breath, or speed the damn thing up. Still learning from the same old mistakes, still shouting at pigeons, and still feeling occasionally hopeful despite being vaguely dissatisfied but uncertain why. Ya heard. Over and out. Roger that. Yup. Yippee. Hooray. Laters.

Coral and Coils

CORAL TORCH...for showing the light, putting in fish tanks, or tooling yourself up with on the streets of Cameron's Britain.
IMPROMPTU PIECE...purpose undefined
COILS...for hanging up

Ceramic Cocktail

This cup was accidentically fired prematurely (hence the blank white handle). It took about six or seven hours, believe it or not, to get to this stage (with another 2 or 3 hours anticipated to be left), and the gritty, grainy, patchwork appearance was slightly unexpected. It was meant to be the cup to end all cups, but apparently not. Somebody recommended nail varnish to finish it off. Can anybody advise where a good cheap nail varnish can be purchased? Don't say 'girlie store'.
The most pleasing aspect of the cup so far are the faint white squiggles to the left of the handle there (click to enlarge).
The above is a wall ornament (Sumerian Wheel). The Sumerians were an early civilisation, BC. I don't think they invented the wheel but it was an era when the development of writing was getting into flow. The best thing about this wall ornament is the lovely flash from the camera - not bad for a measly 2.0 megapixel. What I don't like is how faint that shade of olive green paint looks on the wall (Dulux, that, not cheap basic line gunk. Yes, Dulux, who claim to have over 15,000 colours in their range of paints. 15,000? More like 2 - bull, and shit).

One good thing about having useless handmade artifacts clogging up precious living space is being able to photograph them whenever a hint of sunlight threatens to spill over us. There are all sorts of combinations to be strived for. The ultimate goal is to glue everything together into one super structure and sell it for £75 billion outside The Royal Pavillion (transport WILL be a problem, no matter how much bubble wrap you've got). Seriously, what would you prefer, an alignment of ornaments displayed on a shelf/in a cabinet, or a single zany knock-out sculpture dominating a single corner of the room? Answers on a postcard please ladettes and batty men to 77 Skid Row, Belch Avenue, Endsville, no later than the 32 of Neverember, 2012.

The Ceramic Devision
Ornamento-skulp
Wheel of Life

Treelike Sculptures

People have commented that the above pieces look perfectly okay, but it's hard to agree when you know that they should actually bear the same lovely rich copper and yellow tones displayed in the piece below. Verdict: Failure. Reason: Clay.
The above 'Alien Dagger' was the first fantastic result of the new Copper Adventurine glaze. Looking into the sparkly shades really is a kind of adventurous glittery landscape of quartz, but the following two attempts with this glaze, on the much bigger log pieces, have come out burnt-looking and rubbish. The middle one here was a mixture of colours, which came out okay. The candleholder on the right looks decent because the clay is white - on red clay that spitter-spatter blue and yellow glaze hardly shows up. The black piece on the left was dotted with a green glaze thrown onto it straight from the bottle but the 3 heavy layers of plain black overpowered it. Will be going back in with some white splashes on it.

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The Ceramic Devision

ornamento-skulp

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Elephant Tree

Clay, hands, knife....and spit.

TCD

make paint cook

Golden Grapes gone wrong....now they're Black Balls

all original blob designs are

Copyright Okus Pocus

Other Termite Fortresses

from left to right in above (bottom) picture:

Termite Den

Termite House

Termite Hive

Termite Totem

Termite Shuttle

Trademark 'threaded lace' effect

THE CERAMIC DEVISION

...fake it till ya make it...