Gaga vs Cole vs Tatu

Wheel of Life DJ, DB Tinkerbell, who owns a musical keyboard, compares the stars. Stephen King, who writes his first drafts in silence these days and only cranks the music during the rewrite, says that music by pop stars with only one name are typically denied airplay in his house (sorry, Chico). Here, we don't care about that. Kesha, for example, and her song 'Take It Off', rocks! Pop is strong. The UK Top 40 can be a treasure chest of party beats. All pictures below are from the music videos Bad Romance (Lady Gaga), Parachute (Cheryl Cole), and Sparks (Tatu).

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For a couple of shots in the middle of Bad Romance, the dancers are jerking like insects, like puppet zombies, their heads and limbs all moving in oppsite directions in a brief moment of disordered harmony. They are each doing their own thing but as a whole they all gel and look great with Gaga in the centre pulling a gritty expression. When she poses against a backdrop of flames, she uses her own extra backing vocals on the word 'revenge', while batting her eyelashes.

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Parachute is more a more classy affair. Cole is garcefully passed around male Latin dancers. It's a poignant, peaceful, and provocative track, the complete opposite to Gaga's boot-stomper. Considering the stick this girl gets, it's a divine effort, and a valid transition from girl band nobody to solo somebody. The above pik wins The Blob's 'Best Shot' Award.

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In their video Sparks, this young duo, and Russia's biggest musical export, become women. It's a stage shoot, with the girls doing very little movement to much great effect, enhanced by ace camera work. They have have found their groove and matured in tandem. They've been around for over 10 years and are still only 25. For me [Tinkerbell], these are the best, and not only for their greater number of nod-along songs. No other dance outfit has as many cool tracks as these. No one else sounds like them, either. Creamy female vocals in a foreign tongue (they sing in english too) layered over synths? Deal.

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WINNER: Tatu

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0sXkdRwCPo

Gaga better than Thriller

There has recently been a claim made by the musician DB Tinkerbell (signed to Hypno-Textures) that the Bad Romance video by Lady Gaga is better than the legendary Thriller video by the King of Pop himself, the late Michael Jackson.

“I had no idea that women were more creative than men,” says Tinkerbell from his pad in Liverpool. “I’m shocked. This girl isn’t just another stare-into-the-camera-and-look-sexy kind of artist, she’s the real deal. I’m telling you. This song is as good as pop gets. There’s no better. It’s the video that stunned me though. She moves in tune with the music, like a puppet to its beat. Everything’s so co-ordinated and synchronised. There are some truly spectacular shots. I watch it every morning, to psych myself up for the day ahead. It’s at around the 140 million hits mark on Youtube now. That speaks for itself. I simply can’t imagine how much it’s inspiring the young girls out there, if a big ugly grown-ass man like myself thinks it’s the best thing he’s ever seen!”

Thriller is easily the most successful music video of all time, selling 9 million units. There has naturally been fierce contempt of Tinkerbell’s claims, although the majority of opinions here at WOL deem them ‘laughable’ and aren’t taking them seriously.

“Sometimes you like a song but when you see the video it is rubbish and it puts you off the song,” he continues. “As is usual the radio is bashing Bad Romance all day and night, so I turn the radio down when it comes on, and save it for when I watch the video, because together they create an unforgettable experience.”

And finally: “I ain’t never seen nobody drop their basket in a crowded supermarket and start bopping to a Michael Jackson song. I have to Lady Gaga. It was about five on a Friday afternoon in Asda. The song was Pokerface. The person was a big old mum. She didn’t look drunk.”

DB Tinkerbell is currently awaiting news about a short-term switch to Technics. He is giving triple-track CDs of 'Lonely Repetitive Space' away with the oncoming literary series of SCHMOE PLAYS, which is fiction for bodybuilders, starting in Walter O’Malley’s gym, Warrington, courtesy of Ya what, ha? Productions.