Bad Idea

Greetings again man. All is well in the Land Of Donegan. I’m still clean, I’m still fighting fit, I’m still all well. One or two temptations creeping in, but nothing unmanageable. I thought to myself this morning: Just a nice little big fat stripe of a line, and a bonk-busting scene by Tommy Thrillbigger; but, alas, the temptation faded. To be honest, the notion of doing drugs and watching porn is seeming like a very bad idea. I can’t express just how bad of an idea. Just a wrong one, plain and simple. A disproportionately wrong one, as if, like, there’s some Scale of Bad Ideas in Life, and this one tops the list. I can think of nothing worse. Which is a good thing. For years I’ve been asking God to remove the desire. Please help me not want to use! Finally, I think He has answered.

The cut-down drinking is going well. Don’t get me wrong, it’s barely two pm and I’ve had five pints in all, but they are in the pub, reading a paper. I’m not guzzling tinnies back at home, and I won’t be buying any Karpackies on the way back either. Those Karpackies, I swear, they’re so addictive, but they catch up with you, being 9.0% and all. Karpackies.

I shared about my spirits in a Positive Thoughts therapy group yesterday. It didn’t go down all too well. No one understands. Nobody ‘gets it’. Oh, poor me, poor me, pour me another one, I’ve got presences all around me…who cares!? The reality is that nobody else is out there who I can relate to. They do my head in so much, but they are not as bad as the voices. The voices are unreasonably relentless, they’re impossible to cope with, I can’t put myself back there, in amidst that motley bunch!

On a plus point, my new girl Nicole has invited me to a Manchester Church on Sunday to hear from the famous author Barry Woodward. I’ve read his anthology book, it was good, so I’ll be looking forward to that. Nicole is a sister in Christ, so thumbs-up all around. We had a nice chat after Positive Thoughts. She told me about evidence of the Bible in YouTube documentaries. I call YouTube AdTube from now on. I mean, adverts before and after your song is excusable, but halfway through the song? Give me a break dude. That crap is unforgiveable. And sometimes the ads are longer than the song.

Yeah, so all well. I’ve been thinking of buying a tracksuit, or saving up for a laptop, or enjoying fine cuisine or something. I’ve got a few more quid than is per usual in my pocket, because I’m not wasting it on the coca. That coca is insane, you know. It’s never enuff like. There’s no amount that would suffice. So expensive. It really is a rich man’s drug. I hope I won’t be going back to it anytime soon. What a waste of doe.