Dual Existence

I’m thinking that the creature is more or less gone by now. It’s been nearly two weeks since it reappeared. That’s just about enough time to cause me a world of hurt. I’ve had enough of it, so bye-bye, time to go, pesky cretin. No night terrors last night, just mad dreams as usual. I’m dining with my persecutors on the astral plain, they are my friends and I forgive them. When I’m with them, I’m telling them about what they have done to me back here on Earth. I’m talking to them as I would if indeed I ever came face to face with them. It’s a blurred kind of parallel mystery going on; an inky smearing of two dimensions. When I’m in the dream state, I am consciously aware that I am sleeping in my bed back on this usual planet. I tell this to people in the dream. Talk about dual existences.

Sometimes, I begin to feel when I’m waking up slowly. The environment starts to smudge, like leaking paint, and I arise in my bed. Often I am ready to come back, because a cop is biting me for example, but sometimes I have a destination in mind and I am not ready to return. Last week I was lucid and running towards a kebab shop in the dark. It was a game of time before I woke up, a race against the clock. The lights in the distance were seductive and intriguing. I thought to myself: I have to make it in there! The abstracted and whimsical swagger across the car park was epic and long-drawn-out. When I got in there I realised I had no currency and that I must look out of place because I was from a different world, but I asked for a burger anyway. They looked like big clumps of shoes coated in breadcrumbs.

I found an old empty porn DVD case this morning. I ripped up the jacket design sleeve and threw it in the bin, but not before seeing a screenshot of a woman with massive jugs. If I go into a sex shop, and peruse the DVDs, all bets are off once I look at the screenshots on the back. It’s about that time that I take the goods to the counter and purchase them. Then I’ll go home and score illegal drugs. I’ll take, watch, and let the demons come out to claim me, as they always do. Something supernatural happens when I watch porn on drugs. I see special light coming out of me, all my psyche and my aura leaving me in spectrally glowing tendrils. Most of the time the light comes out in the shape of people. People! Leaving me! Who were part of my inner soul. Now I’m clinging to the constructs of characters I have left inside me. We are all made of other people. You are not you! You are a part of everyone who you have ever met. There are so many souls that cling to another, it is almost frightening. Your social circle, your friends and family, your work buddies, your ancestry…they are all in there, a part of your spirit. They will never ditch you if they truly love you.

Pornography artwork is so powerful, it’s almost mesmerising. It’s a real hook. With me, a five minute knockout was never enough (hand shuffle). I had to do long-lasting stimulants and explore the whole scene. Every single shot observed, and the best ones on an A-B loop. But eventually, the novelty wears off and you get bored. That’s when the sexy voices come in, but I’ve had enough of sexy voices too. Because they are evil, and they shouldn’t be there.

Anyway, I’ve been up since three in the morning drinking Bud and listening to music. I’m becoming dependant on my tablet for music in the mornings, it gives me a kick up the backside and gets me ready for the day. I said a solemn prayer last night which I feel is helping me through today. I asked God to not let the bad spirits around me bother me, and to relish the time I spend with the positive spirits. I’m going to list the names of the good guides I have with me here:

1. Most High (God)

2. The Father (God’s Friend)

3. Gilbert Fitzgerald

4. Xi Lee

5. Diana Bumpton (Red Jacket)

6. Rocket (Red Jacket)

7. Apocto (Angelina Jolie)

8. Hazel

9. Plain Jane

10. The Equestrer

11. Meredith

12. Joan of Arc (Lucy)

13. Bennie

14. Black Environs (Brooke)

15. Mathilda

16. Lydia

17. Prue

18. Chloe

19. Vik

20. Gavin

21. BeeBee

22. Jenny

23. The Intellect

That’s a comprehensive list of the names of the positive energies surrounding me. It feels nice to list them in black and white, as they’ve just been floating around in my mind. And it’s nice to share them with you too. They should be shared, as between them, they have saved my life, and I really swear by that, it isn’t a catchphrase. I owe them a lot. I call them the GENERAL COMMISSION, and I call myself their spokesperson. I AM THE SPOKESPERSON FOR THE GENERAL COMMISSION! (Apologies if I've left anybody out, there's just so many to keep up with.)