All The Way Back Down To Day 2 Again

 

Hi peeps, sorry it’s been so long. I’ve been a miserable failure in all walks of life. I’ve still been using unfortunately, powerful stimulants, and I’ve only managed to string ten days of clean time together in all of the last six weeks. I’m currently all the way back down to Day 2. I’m hard-pressed on every side, crushed, flattened and oppressed, demoralised and depressed and forlorn, but not without hope in the Lord my God.

I left psychosis this morning when I woke up; the voices and hallucinations have given me a break. I am so grateful for the little relief I get. I’ve just celebrated with a fine Chinese meal for my din-dins. I’m half-planning on attending an NA meeting tonight in the local health centre. They always tell you at meetings to keep coming back, no matter what you’re going through and feeling, to keep coming back. I might try and abide by that philosophy today.

To get it out of the way, I must impress upon you that I have lost my leader, my sweet little Abbie. Abbie is a spirit, not a real person, but she has been crusading with me through my ordeal in the Seventh Circle of Hell for the last five or six years or so. Sadly, she has flipped to the dark side, and is now my enemy. I still love her, I always will, she was my pocket rocket angel, but now she hates me and wants me to suffer. Her turn of mind to me is quite inexplicable, I cannot reason it out. She’s saying that I stopped loving her. I can only presume that she never loved me to begin with, or she would never do this to me. She is only 14 years old though, just a child. I have a new leader whose name is Prue, she is an oriental spirit of approximately the same age, although she is more mature and sensible than Abbie. Abbie has always had an evil streak, that is why she was so good at fighting evil. I’m handling her departure extremely well, but now, instead of loving her, I have to fight her. And she is very powerful. The only positive note is that I gave her everything she has. I, in a sense, created her.

I also have a new ghost hovering around me who I call Geraldine. Geraldine is a very powerful warrior who fears no other ghost. She is a very sporty 17 year old. It might sound farfetched, but often I am simply sat in my bedroom coming down off a bad trip watching good and bad ghosts fighting each other on my behalf. It’s a rollercoaster ride to spectate upon. I can’t bear to watch in case the good ones suffer at the hands of the bad. Sometimes they win and sometimes they don’t. The state of my mental health depends on the outcome. I don’t mean to come across as some pioneer of spiritual madness when writing, but I’m just stipulating the truth. Thanks. Hopefully see you a bit sooner next time.