Eyeing But Not Buying

I just bought a DVD player. Then I marched to the loop shop for DVDs. But I changed my mind. The filth wasn’t filthy enough.

I could try the city store, for stronger content, but I think I might be happy watching regular movies, if I can locate them, as the supermarket has stopped selling them. It’s all streaming now.

Just waiting for a second hand television. I’ll get a set-up going in the bedroom and maybe tune into an old box set to kill an hour or too. Sounds like fun. I haven’t watched television, apart from soccer games in the pub, for several years now. 18 months of that has included XXX material.

I’m currently free from it. But that then was a close call. If her boobs had been a  little bigger…

My initials are A.D. Appropriate Daddy. I can’t be seen talking to young girls in Maccies, helping them with their self-harm shenanigans, if I’ve been sat up all might frothing at the seams of the mouth over their likenesses on camera. It seems like every young chick has a decent rack and an exposed naval jewel and a juicy behind, but it’s no excuse to go raiding the eye-level buy-level shelves in the sex shop, and filling up one’s psyche full of indecency for the foreseeable.

Hang back. Don’t jump in. Most of it is crap. Proper bullsh*t.

I agree. Hardly any of it is executed exactly how I would like it to be. It’s mostly silly vulnerable girls rather than hot experienced women; I’ve had enough – and then I’m stuck with that immature imagery in my mind forever, making a mockery out of my recovery. I think I’ll stick to functioning well on a daily basis, instead of with a head full of shame and guilt. Yep, that sounds better.

Value your life, I hear a positive voice say. God has fashioned me into a warrior, so that, despite the ever-present hum of toxicity from the enemy, I can rely on a profound sense of inner strength to ply me through ceaseless adversity. Moreover, I find a break in the proceedings and laugh to myself at the inaptitude of their dark plans; I realise that when left alone I operate on frequencies of peace and joy. Solitude for me is character-building, but I have multiple opportunities in the week to share meaningful fellowship with likeminded associates. These are small but valuable pockets to talk openly about what I dare – there is no shortage of listening ears.

I have some more cooking to do, so I have to dash. And I have a great book to sink my teeth into. If you spare me a thought later, like maybe when you pop back in for another visit, at least it will be noble. I won’t be sat on my arse bashing the bishop to porn: I’ll be riding those pearly waves which arise from a righteous mind (at least for the moment), and pursuing the resulting freedoms which emanate from such merrily-stuffed bounties.

I don’t think I’ll be wiping out just yet.