Psychic Brain Attack

I couldn’t find a Mind Weaponry For Dummies Book, but I do have a few ideas on what I’d like to use on my in-laws, should I ever get the chance. Here’s for when they are falling asleep and starting to snore in tandem on my sofa when the baseball is on.

 #WhackHammerThunderClapDetonator…Control Kit ₀45:

This device can usher in 200 dB (decibels) bang-slap between a poor human being’s eardrums, the sound effect of a nuclear device. Note: can be adjusted accordingly so as not to make them permanently deaf. Best utilised when they are drifting off into Stage 1 sleep. Scrutinise them from a safe and guarded location until they are just about to doze…and then press the button with your mind via Brain Computer Interface (BCI). Guaranteed to shock them into another dimension.

One comment on WhackHammerThunderClapDetonator_Control Kit ₀45

“My Granddad, when I used this on him as an experiment, spilled his tea.

His cap also fell off. He couldn’t stop curtain twitching all afternoon.

He thought it was a real bomb. He thought we were being invaded."

#GiantDraculaPork

ChilliArseWorm_edition 2.2

Add extra spiky bristles**Increase temp**Chute Depth**Shooty Lava Jet**Sharp Move. Just several changeable factors on this telepathic rascal. Victimise your enemies with the latest edition. They will surely be keeping the toilet paper in the fridge if not fingering themselves with an ice cube.

One Comment on GiantDraculaPorkChilliArseWorm_edition 2.2

“I had this used on me by my ex. He said he was controlling it with his mind.

It felt like a midget was drawing concentric circles on my A-hole with a throwing star.

While the whole thing was on fire. I had to sit in a cold bath at one point.

Fortunately we got back together so now he lets me use it on other people I don’t like.” 

#SelfishConkJobbie_1000+

Over a thousand olfactory hallucinations emanating from more BCI tech. Read from an index and “think” the odour into your target’s brain, then watch him gag as he comprehends rotten eggs, stinky poo, festering fruit, blocked drains, or low tide.

One comment on SelfishConkJobbie_1000+

“Best aroma on there was the salmon one

It got stuck up Darrel’s conk.”

 If I can think of any more neuroweapons I’ll let you know. Being a deviant with imaginative ways to hurt someone isn’t my forte. Call me old-fashioned, but I’d just batter them. Sitting next to them from behind neighbour’s walls until they fall to sleep and then getting the masers out doesn’t appeal to me. Cooking their internal organs seems a bit excessive because they cut you up in traffic. Who knows why people are out there wounding their fellow man clandestinely, for years and years on end. I’d say it was because they are bored, lonely, obsessed, repetitive and unwanted, probably. But hell, who am I to guess?

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/If you are having terrible things perpetrated against you then hold tight and don’t give up hope. Quit all your vices and ignore them. They feed on your reaction so bite your lip they aren’t worth the wastage of your breath. I tried to talk them down for years got me nowhere, I was open and honest and respectful they don’t care about the words you use, only that they are being entertained, hence the word bored, sooner or later they just bounce back on the pain grab, they’re addicted to your suffering and cannot live without your interactions with them. Simply tell them no you are not interested. They go all mad when you do this and start flapping for attention. Then you see them for what they really are: Desperate no marks who couldn’t make it in real life so had to engage in zerzetzung (decomposition of the human soul). Eventually they try to spoil your every peaceful moment, so what does that say about them. Tip: Focus on Heaven it drives them nuts/